If after a long time of persistent and sincere "work on yourself", problems are not solved, goals are not achieved, life in general does not change for the better, moreover, if it gets even worse or similar conflict situations are repeated again and again, this is not a reason to fall into despondency and be disappointed. This just means that the "splinter" is sitting too deep and you are not able to eradicate it yourself.
Agree that we all often so easily identify the causes of other people's failures, and, as in that proverb about the log in someone else's eye, do not notice our own mistakes, even if they lie on the surface. Therefore, it is not at all shameful, and sometimes even necessary, to seek outside help; the help of a specialist, psychologist, expert, friend, person who is not directly involved in our situation. But this does not mean that you need to ask for advice from the first person you meet or complain about your difficulties to everyone around you in the hope of getting valuable recommendations. Not at all.
On the contrary, the search for a mentor should be taken very seriously. In ancient times, when it was not possible to cope with the problem on their own, to resolve the conflict, our ancestors turned for help to sages, people who, having devoted a huge amount of time and effort to studying the laws of this world, managed to raise their standard of living in all its aspects to a height that served as an inspiring example for others.
These days, we have virtually unlimited access to information of any kind, and there are more opportunities to improve our lives than ever. Such areas of science as medicine, psychotherapy, psychology and philosophy are developing at an incredible rate. Just think, some ten years ago, the profession of a school psychologist caused at least surprise and a smile with a bit of sarcasm, but now it goes without saying.
More recently, there was an opinion among the people that drinking two hundred grams of vodka is much more reliable, safer and cheaper than going to an appointment with a "shrink", but now the fashion for personal psychologists has spread widely from West to East. However, with all the current scientific "progress", with all the large number of experts and specialists, it is very easy to fall for the bait of advertising, fashion and other stereotypes and "rules" imposed on us from everywhere.
Here it should be remembered that the presence of numerous diplomas, certificates, academic degrees, written books and articles, or the number of likes and rave reviews in Internet networks is not the main criterion for choosing a person whose advice you are going to trust, although these regalia, of course, are unlikely to hurt. The most important criterion for choosing a mentor is the degree of their own success, happiness, and effectiveness in those issues that concern you.
You don't need to ask a patient about health, a beggar about wealth, a lonely but experienced bitter destructive relationship, about happiness in your personal life; although, as a rule, it is such people who give out their invaluable advice right and left. The well-known principle of" shoemaker without boots " in the case when it comes to things more important than shoes, is extremely unreliable.
Find someone who is already healthy, already living in affluence, already enjoying long-term happy relationships, already successful in what you want for yourself, and ask them how they did it. Find your own specialist, psychologist, guru, mentor, someone whose example inspires you. Qualified assistance from the outside can significantly speed up the achievement of the desired results.
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238.201 SRY