Have you ever hesitated when asked to speak in public?
Feel that you don't fit in or don't deserve something?
If your answer is yes, it means we have something in common like almost everyone in this world. No man ever doubts in this world and we all understand it. So how can we be more comfortable trying new things without fear of failure and embarrassment? Check out the following explanation to increase self-confidence.
Understanding Confidence According to Experts
The word "confidence" has many definitions in the world of psychology. Various sources have their own definitions, such as the following:
- According to Bérnabou & Tirole (2002), self-confidence is easily defined as a sense of belief in one's own abilities.
- Lenney (1997) defines it as the expectation of performance and one's evaluation of ability and performance.
- According to the American Psychological Association (2021), self-confidence is a person's belief in their own abilities, capacities, and judgments. The belief that a person is capable of successfully meeting job demands.
If summarized in very simple language, the meaning of "Confidence" itself is your belief in yourself. You believe you can lift a gallon of aqua, you believe you can be class president and things like that.
Confidence can change at any time, according to conditions. Therefore, it is natural to feel more confident in certain situations and less confident in others.
When you lack self-confidence, what will happen is that someone can be thrown into a circle that can make them even more insecure. For example, there are people who are rejected when expressing love to their crush and this person will say "This must be because I am not smart enough, not handsome, not a six-pack, and many others." Thinking like this will make someone reluctant to try to take another chance because they think they are not enough.
On the other hand, someone who has enough self-confidence will think "Hmm, maybe I'm just unlucky and just not the right fit for that organization." After that, he will keep trying to find organizations or activities that are more suitable.
You can only imagine how great our achievements and future will be when we are able to overcome fear and shame. Curious about how?
How to Increase Confidence
Fortunately, self-confidence isn't something genetic, so you will always have the opportunity to develop it. Here are some methods that can be used to increase self-confidence!
1. Facing Daily Challenges and Fears
“Conquer your fears” is a jargon often used by motivators in their seminars. It is said that it is as if we can deal with fear and anxiety by fighting it. Interestingly, this is supported by psychological research from UCLA (Cain, Blouin, & Barad, 2003).
In short, by realizing that a situation is not as bad as we think, we are able to get used to it and eventually overcome that fear.
2. Familiarize yourself with Failure & Rejection
No one likes to be rejected. We register and try with the goal of success and not failure. The ability to pick yourself up after a fall is something that everyone aspires to and confidence plays a big role in this.
According to psychology and neuroscience professor Mark R. Leary, Ph.D. in nbcnews.com (DiGiulio, 2019) there are several things that can be done:
- Focus on excellence
- Ask yourself if the failure really meant much
- Remember that rejection is often impersonal
- Assume the best, not the worst
- Prepare yourself and come back looking for the next opportunity
3. Create a List / List
Sounds a bit cumbersome but it's actually easy and fast. Make a list of your respective achievements and strengths. Then make another list of goals you want to achieve (the more realistic the better). I suggest starting with small things, like getting up early or making up the bed.
Goals and goals written must be SMART alias specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, and time-bound. So it has to be specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and have a deadline. This method is based on research by Locke & Latham (2013) which helps and leads to more consistent results.
For example, "I want to collect 50 thousand from washing a neighbor's motorbike in 2 days."
Each time you successfully complete the tasks on the list, you can see your progress in real-time. You're at least 1% better than yesterday, and that's great. It's also not bad for an additional source of motivation.
4. Find a Supportive Circle of Friends
This is also equally important because your circle of friends is a reflection of each of you. It's time to avoid friends who are too negative and try to bring down your spirits and confidence. Circles of friends who support one another should be targeted, because they will also become a support system, aka people who will encourage and help psychologically, physically, and financially (National Institute of Health, 2019).
5. Exercise Regularly
Sport has always been present as the easiest solution to many psychological problems. There is something to do with endorphins, then there is a serotonin and various other compounds that make a person feel better and confident. This increase in self-confidence is a side effect of changing body image, which changes the way you view yourself (Guinn, Semper, & Jorgensen, 1997).
There are various ways to increase self-confidence. The effectiveness will definitely be different for each person. I just want to remind you that you are not in competition with anyone but yourselves.
There is no need to compare yourself to others anymore. Forcing yourself to rival Park Jimin's confidence doesn't sound realistic, but being 1% better than your yesterday self is much more realistic.
Closing
Here are five methods to build your confidence. Apart from the above methods, there are other methods that may have been overlooked or not written down. So, if you have your own tricks and tips to use to make yourself more confident, you can share your stories in the comments column!
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